would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
