I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
PANTIES FOUND
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