and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I want her autograph on my taint
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
