she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
