I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
