Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
