There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
love makes seman taste better
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
