so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize