we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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