I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
