I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
