at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
