Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
