"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
