I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
