im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
