I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
