The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
