Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
