On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
