I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
