and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
