so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
