I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
