3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
