Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
