what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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