It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
