Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
