I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
