eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
