I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She told me I should be a condom model.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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