Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
