JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Welp...herpes.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
