Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize