I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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