Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
