I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
