what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
