does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
