Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if only i could text you this smell
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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