U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
