All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize