how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
