i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize