We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
