People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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