I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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