ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
