I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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