No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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