Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
