Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
