The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
