Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
