awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Panties = found
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize