Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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