I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
