he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
