yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
